21 Jan 1983 is a date I’ll always remember. 21 Jan was the day I went to the Military Enlistment Processing Station (MEPS) in Los Angeles to take a physical, fill out a mountain of paperwork, and finally swear into the Delayed Entry Program (DEP) of the United States Navy.
I remember the date, because it was the first time I heard anyone say the date in that format. I also remember that’s the day I memorized my social security number. I must have written the date and my SSN 50 times that day. It was also the date that I spent almost the entire time in my underwear, walking around in a line of painted-on footprints with a bunch of other guys in their underwear getting a physical exam. A few unfortunately didn’t get the memo and went commando that day. I’m sure they regretted that decision.
At the end of that long day, we were ushered into a room where we were told we be sworn into the military. We stood at attention and a Marine Corps officer read the Oath of Enlistment. Then he told us we were IN! There was no turning back now.
Being in DEP was uneventful. Basically, I was on hold, scheduled to report to boot camp on 5 Dec. I went back to the home I grew up in and sort of forgot about the Navy for a while. I got a really good job working on the morning crew at a Ralph’s grocery store in Santa Ana. I still had a part time job at a kid’s day camp. Life didn’t change. I didn’t feel any different. In fact, I still felt like a high school kid.
Until a Saturday morning in March changed everything.
My mom woke me up with some sad news. Our family dog, Daisy, passed away during the night. She was old, and we knew this day was coming, but it still crushed me. I was a mess all morning.
I was supposed to have my first mandatory DEP meeting at the recruiting station in Santa Ana and even though I was distraught, I knew I couldn’t blow this off.
When I got to the recruiting station, a physically fit sailor met us and yelled at us to get outside in the parking lot. We did some close order drill, and then a 2-mile run. This was followed by a bunch of calisthenics.
I had done four years of high school football. This was a joke compared to it, but for some reason it was harder. I was now among men, not boys. This was not high school, but the real thing. I was a little freaked out by the whole thing. I had regrets about joining the Navy.
On the way home, I felt different. In one day, I experienced two major changes:
My childhood was abruptly rocked. Daisy had been my dog since the 5th grade. Now she, along with my memories of youth with her were gone.
That alone was bad enough, but then I also got a taste of life as an adult. The version I experienced that Saturday wasn’t attractive. It was scary and stressful. I wasn’t quite ready for any of this.
And yet, reflecting on this day, some 40-plus years later, I realize that these events were just a normal part of the shifting nature of life. In the moment they are both real and frightening. But later you realize they were part of the journey.
Life is full of ups and downs. Changes and the status quo. Our job is to simply ride the waves of all. We can no sooner stop these life changes any more than we could stand in front of a crashing wave at the beach and order it to stop.
By the time 5 DEC rolled around and I had to leave for boot camp, I had made peace with my decision. I still missed Daisy, but by then could think about her and say her name without breaking down.
When I left boot camp and came home before reporting to Dental Assisting Basic school, I remember feeling different.
My boyhood bedroom seemed like it belonged to someone else. My parents, although I still respected my mom and feared my dad, were no longer my authority figures. Everything seemed different. It seemed awkward and foreign. It was familiar and yet wasn’t.
The difference?
It was me. Maybe I grew up. Maybe I was a man now.
Either way, I knew then there was no going back. This was no longer my home. Now, I had to navigate the real world for myself. It was both scary and exciting. I had no idea what adventures lie ahead.
But it’s been a good run. I’m glad I no longer live at home and work at Ralphs. I still miss Daisy, but in a different, nostalgic way.
I guess this is adulthood.
What was your pivotal moment when you suddenly realize you were an adult? How did it feel? How did you handle it?